You Know You're A Nurse If....

You know you're a nurse if....
· You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.
· You believe not all patients are annoying…some are unconscious.
· Your sense of humour seems to get more warped each year.
· You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.
· You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
· Almost everything can seem humorous... eventually.
· When asked, "What colour is the patient's diarrhea?" You show them your shoes.
· Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.
· You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.
· You carry spare meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.
· You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers flashbacks.
· You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from work is trying to call to ask you to work.
· You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.
· You notice that you use more four-letter words now than before you became a nurse.
· Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three on you.
· You can intubate your friends at parties.
· You don't get excited about blood loss... unless it's your own.
· You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."
· Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
· When checking the level of orientation of a patient... you aren't sure of the answer.
· You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.
· You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner, break, and sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.
· You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

And for a list specific to "ER" nurses look at:
(http://journals.aol.com/erarein63/DesThoughts/entries/421)